it's floey's private diary!

 






      part 1

      part 2

      part 3

      part 4

Floey! Floey! Floey! Floey! Floey! Floey! Floey!

floey's private diary - part 2



Tuesday, April 29 5:00 p.m.
        Lillian seems to have changed her mind about getting married below sea level. This morning she went through a brief period where she was considering a wedding on horseback, but then Helmut came over and I guess he straightened things out. Now she’s back to having a standard ceremony in our backyard, complete with a minister, vows, and a cake. We’ll see how long this lasts before she gets it in her head that we’re all going to have to wear safari outfits.
        Typical. A car just pulled up in front of the house and eight giant girls I have never met came knocking at the door claiming to be from Lillian’s crew team. Lillian, part of a crew team? But apparently it’s true. Lillian came out and everybody screamed and hugged each other like long lost friends. Turns out she met the Brown University Women's Lightweight Eights two weeks ago and they all got along so well they made her the team's honorary cockswain.
        More adoring fans. Lillian never fails to amaze.

Saturday, May 3 10:40 a.m.
        Turns out Wen asked Azra along to Razor Slash Bee Bop too – and she said yes. I guess that about shoots our romantic afternoon to smithereens.
        I do believe I’m doomed to a life of abject loneliness.

Wednesday, June 25 2:20 p.m.
        Dumped.
        The word is perfect for how I feel. Like somebody hauled me away in the back of a truck, pitched me onto a pile of decaying trash and left me to rot next to yesterday’s leftovers and a thick cloud of flies.
        Cast off. Abandoned. Rejected. Deserted. Discarded. Tossed aside.
        Dumped. Dumb. Dumbity dumpity dumped.
        My life is a festering sore.

Saturday, June 28 7:10 a.m.
        I am too depressed for words. My sister is getting married today so I should be enjoying myself, but the following things are ruining it for me:
        a. Wen dumped me.
        b. It's clear now that he never had any idea he was my boyfriend.
        c. The wedding is going ahead even though I have convincing evidence that love doesn't last and only ends in pain. (See item a.)
        d. For the next three weeks I will have to endure Richard and Tish, cousins I barely know, in my home, my personal space. Worse still, I will have to share my room.
        e. If I don't find a way to avoid Aunt Sarah today, I may just die of shame.
        f. Frank Sinatra has been looking at me like I'm out of my mind.
        g. He might be right.

Sunday, June 29 8:00 a.m.
Dear Future Floey,
        Calvin is the only one who truly appreciates me. I will find him again even if it means I have to search every class at Moses Brown and every open-mike poetry night in Rhode Island.

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